Whassup, Blacks?!

Jesus. You really can't make this stuff up.

 Ann "The Mann" Coulter

 -has her dander up because the "left-wing media" have had the balls, the AUDACITY, the sheer CHEEK to report on a news story! In case you're on Valium, you might want to know that Herman "Pizza Man" Cain has acknowledged accusations of sexual harassment levied against him during the '90s. According to Coulter the Politico article on this subject, plus the coverage of the Clarence Thomas case in the early '90s, taken together constitute a "bias" on the part of the "Left" against right-wing "blacks". (Evidently, when the media DOES ITS DAMN JOB by reporting on two high-profile cases concerning people who have done everything possible to get themselves in front of TV cameras, this represents clear evidence of a big scary conspiracy. I guess that also means that since both Bill Clinton and John Edwards are southern Democrats whose sexual misadventures were given huge attention in the media, that there's also a conspiracy to smear white southern Democrats...)

But wait! IT GETS EVEN BETTER! Having been invited onto Sean "I Have Never Read a History Book and You Can't Make Me" Hannity's Incoherent Hour, Coulter got up on her hind legs and began to trumpet. First, she made up some American history (blaming the entirety of the Democratic party, not just the Dixiecrats, for segregation, and refusing to acknowledge Presidents Kennedy and Johnson for their tireless work in support of civil rights legislation). She went on to suggest that "uptight white feminists" were getting their jollies from imagining "the most horrible sexualized fantasies" about conservative black men.

Nothing too out of the ordinary there; the modern GOP, despite their avowed distaste for "communism", has borrowed the entirety of the Stalinist propaganda machine's playbook. If it makes them look bad, it never happened ("there were no terrorist attacks on America when George W. Bush was President"); if it makes the Democrats look good, that's because it was really the GOP who did all the hard work, or else the work of Democrats who were secretly Republicans ("FDR wouldn't be a Democrat in this day and age").

The real zinger, though, is located right around the 5:45 mark in this video. Ann "the Mann" comes right out and says that the real reason Democrats can't stand Cain is that he's a black Republican, and us secretly racist liberals are all jealous because, and I quote, "OUR BLACKS ARE BETTER THAN THEIR BLACKS". 


Just, wow. That sentence is wrong in so many ways. I'm not even going to attempt to list them, since the universe would end before I could possibly finish. And I thought I hated this woman before...

"Party of Lincoln", my entire ass. The GOP would truly love to say that Herman Cain represents their ideals and their diversity. Unfortunately, their own rank and file betray their true feelings every time they open their mouths. Pay attention, assholes: America's on to you, and we're not buying the bullshit any longer.